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Writer's pictureBethany

INSANITY: Max Cardio Conditioning

Updated: Nov 12, 2021

I have arrived at Day 38 of INSANITY which meant Max Cardio Conditioningfor the first time.

I was sore this morning, but I was getting accustomed to it. No pain, no gain right? Actually, I know what INSANITY sore feels like - this was no surprise.

However, I got up a little later (between 7am and 7:30am) and must have overestimated the pep in my step. Why, you ask? I had to hang onto my dresser for a few seconds to find my equilibrium.

  • Length: 48 minutes

  • Equipment: none

Nevertheless, I was pretty excited to be done in 48 minutes and to give it everything I had.

Warm-up

So this happens before the warm-up starts.

‘3, 2 ,1, INSANITY!’

Now we know it’ll be a good time. I wish I was in the middle of that huddle and then popped out. SURPRISE!

The warm-up lasts about 9 minutes and has three rounds (like you should be accustomed to by now). The first two rounds are about 4 minutes and the last one is 1.5 minutes!

Yo wassup! My name is Shaun T. This is Max Cardio Conditioning - 45 minutes of pure endurance training. 3-2-1.. jog it out.

The moves are:

  • Jog - Yeah!! Let’s do this. (Always my initial thought).

  • Jumping Jacks With Arms Up - Punch the ceiling again but trying not to remove the popcorn ceiling today (I hit it once).

  • Jump Rope Side to Side - Weee.

  • High Knees With Arms Out - Not to be done with the hands down like in the photo. If you know me at all - I twirled my wrists for fun like I was dancing. OH LIKE THIS SHAUN?! 'Breathe…use the core’.

  • Switch Kicks - Kick one leg, switch, repeat.

  • Hit the Floor - These still are not getting any more fun. However, I find myself slapping the floor with a vengeance to prove some kind of 'I can conquer’ this point. 'Don’t overdue it, your'e just warmin’ up’ (during the second round). Should I be seeing silver dots?

  • Side to Side Floor Hops - Fancy fan-dangled floor move. I am happy to report that I did not fall over/forward/backwards.

During the last round (1.5 minutes) you are to go 'balls to the wall’ and do the moves as fast as you can.

'Now everybody get up as fast as you can’. Shit.

The moves are:

  • Sprint - RUN FAST!

  • Jumping Jacks - I was doing jumping jacks so fast I thought my arms were going to fly off.

  • Heisman - Bam. Bam. Bam. 'Turn over people, TURNOVER!’

  • 1-2-3 Heisman - Ooooh now I get to add a 1-2-3. We should call these 1-2-3 sucka, 1-2-3 wachow!

  • High Knees - I ran this like I was running to a finish line (since it was not for long) and my arms were moving like lighting (well, not really, but you know).

'Grab a quick drink.’

Little did I know - this would be one of the only drink breaks.

Stretch

The stretch is almost 5 minutes long and consists of the typical leg and hip flexor stretches.

AKA: sweat out of eyeballs time. Curse the hair pony tail. Water break (basically the last one).

The Main Attraction

This time, the workout does not consist of circuits (like the previous two). The 'main attraction’, as I like to call it, lasts about 29 minutes (and reminds me of Pure Cardio from Month 1). Each move lasts about a minute.

  • High Low Jab with Squat - Jab high, jab low (in a squat) for 30 seconds on each side. Holy crap this is a long time of punching. People were already taking breaks. Maybe this was not going to be easier like I anticipated.

'Come on this is endurance training. You’re training your muscles and your heart all at the same time’.

'There’s plenty more exercises left…’

Kill me now.

  • Football Runs - Sprint in place and then fall down into a push-up/plank position. Hardest thing - popping your body back up QUICK to start again and keeping up with drill sergeant Shaun T. Holy. Crap.

'HIT IT…. UP! HIT IT…. UP!! HOLD IT DOWN THERE….’

I was slightly delayed with each 'up’ but finished every single one.

  • 8 Ball Shots with Squat - Shoot the ball four times, land in a squat, hoppy hoppy hoppy to the other side. Do it again. Hardest thing here is staying in a squat for so long. 'Butt down’.

  • Right and Left Kicks - These are pretty self-explanatory. First you do kicks (quickening the pace) on the right. Then, the left. You are kicking for a LONG time on each leg. Balance is key. I think I found myself wandering off into grocery store list land.

'Dig. Dig ya’ll. Dig. Dig. Dig.’

'It’s like I’m blockin’ a punch and kickin’ at a person’. Well…when you put it that way.

  • Diamond Jumps - I HATE YOU DIAMOND JUMPS. Even though 'diamond’ is in the name - I am not fond of this move. However, I proudly pretend like I am a robot and jump into my diamond form. Like the people in the video - I took breaks and was hanging onto my knees throughout this minute. I think I am dying by this time.

'Make a diamond in the air’. I think this is a good time for this:

I think I need to edit my diamond photo:

  • In-Out Push Up Jacks - 4 in-outs and then 4 push-up jacks. Repeat three more times. Well this sucks. I’ll admit - I took a breather break for one set.

  • Suicide Jumps - Well, these are always fun and exhausting. These should seem familiar from the Fit Test. I know I am dying at this point. My jumps got slower as the minute wore on.

'If you need to take a break, it’s fine, wipe the sweat like Tonia.’

  • High Knee/Low/Floor Sprints - 8 high knees followed by 8 sprints and down to 8 floor sprints. Stand up QUICKLY and start again. Ooooooh my goodness. He demonstrates once and I shook my head. However, I am pretty good at keeping up with this one.

  • Ski Abs - These should seem very familiar from Month 1 and last for a minute. I am basically exhausted and doing some kind of flimsy side to side move.

'You can take 10 breaks if you want. As long as you use the correct form’. I took.. a few. :)

Then this happened:

  • Kick Step Back -1st recovery exercise and you kick and step back and touch the ground.

'You still gotta stay focused. It’s not a game people. It’s not a game. Dig deeper. That’s what it’s about.’

  • Squat Twists -2nd recovery exercise. You squat and touch one foot, then, you stand up and squat and touch the other foot. Repeat.

  • Over the River Hops -Last recovery exercise. I pretend like I am a butterfly. A dancing one.

'Don’t tap behind. Because that quad that’s on the floor - you’re gonna’ work that foot’.

  • Attack - I like to think 'bam bam’, rotate, 'bam bam’. It’s like you are punching someone in the face with your hand. Slice even.

'Abs. (Attack) Triceps. (Attack) Quads.’ (Attack)

  • Power Knees - Very familiar? Yes. You do power knees on each side for what seems like forever (a minute each).

My lower abs are startin’ to burn!’ Mine too Shaun, mine too.

  • Ski Down Hooks - While jumping side to side, you do a hook with the opposing arm. These are a little exhausting but I managed to pretend I was doing some kind of fancy karate move.

'Come on ya’ll. Fight through. Fight through’.

  • Belt Kicks - I like to call these 'hold onto your shorts, squat then kick.’

'It’s not a fast move. Okay? Because your large muscle groups are workin’ your heart rate’s gonna’ stay high’. That’s for sure.

  • Forward Back Suicides - Little run forward, touch the ground, little run backwards, touch the ground, repeat. I pretty much feel like a little mouse scurrying to my cheese.

  • Push Up Abs - In a push-up position, you bring your knee to your elbow and repeat for the other side. Grunts heard all around. Honestly - I do 10 for a set, rest, 10 again, rest, then 10 more.

'Take that rest if you need it’. I took it

  • Plank Punches - Been here, done this. Holding it for a minute is a true test. Look at their faces.

  • 8 Jump Ropes/8 Hop Squats - If you are not already dying, you have to get 8 high jump (ropes) and then land into 8 hop squats. Repeat. My jumps eventually turned into hop/leap/curtsies off the ground. WHEN DOES THIS END?

'STAY IN THE LOW SQUAT! STAY IN THE LOW SQUAT.’

  • Squat Speed Bag - Don’t you love his face on the right? I try to do these as fast as I can in a squat. I’ll admit, I have hit myself in the face/chin before (not this time). Key thing here - squat and keep your butt back.

He does not give you one - but I took a water break. Or, I took a throw water in face break.

Cool down

This lasts about 4 minutes, and if you are anything like the guy on the bottom right photo, you are too cool for school.

'Keep pushin’. Keep diggin’ deeper. Peace out’.

Then, they all huddle up again and high five. Pshhhh. I high fived myself.

I took my water break at the end. As you can see.

Final Thoughts

  • I conquered my goal that I wrote on my 'inspirational chalk board’. For those of you (MY HUBBY) that do not understand the board: That is a banana (not a moon), some stars and 'DON’T STOP MOOVING! (like 'moo’) 'DARE YOU TO BURN >500 CALORIES!’ I know what my next goal will be since I smashed the 500 (I burnt 637)! :)

  • I am still trying to find my abs (trying to trim body fat). I will call this a 2-4 pack. Hah. Or a mommy-pack? I’M WORKING AT IT!

  • That was harder than I anticipated. Why? You do the main workout without stopping. Water. Need water. In face.

  • The hubby came downstairs and said, 'Ew, you’re really sweaty’. Well, yeah. 'Thank you’.

By the way, I registered for the Hospital Hill Run on June 1st since my employer is a 'supporter’ and it is a good cause! :)

So far I am registered for:

  • 4/20/13: Garmin Marathon

  • 4/28/13: Trolley Run

  • 5/24/13: Amy Thompson Run

  • 6/1/13: Hospital Hill Run

…which means I have a race in three days. I am going to try and set a PR (since I have been running) so hopefully I am not too sore from INSANITY!

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